I’m going to talk about one of the most helpful components of growth for me, but also pretty complicated. I first learned this one from a therapist I saw. She asked me what would my life be like if and when I felt less heavy around a certain issue.
Not only did I love imagining what things will be like without this burden I now love working with people around what they’ll have space and time for if they no longer people please, practice perfectionism, or bend their limits for others. Perhaps they reflect on what they want to welcome in if and when they rely on patterns that no longer serve them. Maybe we get them to take a moment to imagine what it will feel like if they no longer talk with that eff boy or overextend to that person they don’t want to give to in that way anymore.
Getting someone to imagine what they’ll have room for without this people pleasing or whatever behavior that once protected themselves doesn’t mean they need to make changes now. I think we just get them to stretch what it will look and feel like for them. If they decide to put that clarity or lack of burden into action then cool. Just curiously supporting their unburdened self is such an honor. I know for me it’s becoming beyond what I could’ve imagined and I just keep getting to put this into practice more and more.
Soft Heart Psychology 