4-Part Series on Tips for OCD: Part 1

Dear Soft Hearted Loves, What is OCD? In decolonializing care with the folx I serve and debunking a narrow-minded, Eurocentric field of psychology I’ve come to find trauma and grief show up in a number of different ways, including through obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). OCD is neurological and sometimes genetically linked. Sometimes it serves asContinue reading “4-Part Series on Tips for OCD: Part 1”

How to Attune to the Body When Triggered

Dear Soft Hearted Loves, What do you do when your reaction feels huge in comparison to what just happened? It is totally understandable if your reaction to seeing, hearing, remembering, or smelling something feels like it doesn’t fit the situation. So many practices in psychology tell folks to think rationally, logically and actually invalidate themselves.Continue reading “How to Attune to the Body When Triggered”

Transformative Goodbyes

Dear soft hearted loves, I’m leaving a clinic I love and goodbyes are hard. This one is especially hard because I love so many of the patients I serve and coworkers. I’ve created bonds and relationships with one of my dearest friends at the clinic and developed trusting, therapuetic alliances with those I serve. LeavingContinue reading “Transformative Goodbyes”

How to Affirm Your Gay or Trans Adolescent

Dear soft hearted loves, I’ve been talking a lot with folks about how their family could’ve handled things more kindly when they found out their child was gay or trans (or sometimes we say LGBTQ standing for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer). I have the opportunity to serve folks healing from the wounds ofContinue reading “How to Affirm Your Gay or Trans Adolescent”

Healing From Perfectionism

Dear soft hearted loves, Does perfectionism continue to block you from being you? Does perfectionism exhaust you? Or perhaps you feel you are so far from perfect that perfectionism can’t be an issue for you. The inner critic who lives in perfectionism may attack your performance, work, eating, or other things you do or servicesContinue reading “Healing From Perfectionism”

How to Navigate Inner Parts and Gender

Dear soft hearted loves, Do you remember when we learned about the seven different types of inner critics from expert, Maryam Fallahi? You can review the different types in Maryam Fallahi’s article seen here if you’d like: https://softheartpsychology.com/?p=161 I want to share about the phenomenon of the inner critics attacking our identities, specifically gender identity.Continue reading “How to Navigate Inner Parts and Gender”

How to Transform from Toxic Positivity to Presence

Dear Soft Hearted Loves, I’m a reformed toxic positivity user or a transforming ex-Pollyanna. My dear friend once brought it to my attention that it was invalidating when I would highlight the positive when she was sharing what was going on for her. After years of trying to see the bright side I had toContinue reading “How to Transform from Toxic Positivity to Presence”

How to Validate Your Experiences

Dear Soft Hearted Loves, My dear sweet one, do you find yourself loving on others only to forget to validate yourself? Do you find yourself Pollyanna-ing and being super positive only to bypass your own feelings? Stuffing our feelings or engaging in toxic positivity may have once done the job. If these ways no longerContinue reading “How to Validate Your Experiences”

How to Divide the Chores

Dear soft hearted loves, Whether you’re a mother-son-grandchild trio, husband-husband romantic partnership, or any other type of relational dynamic the household duties are likely divided. If you’re feeling the weight of the household duties heavy on you keep reading because there is so much hope for this to change for you starting today. You’ll getContinue reading “How to Divide the Chores”

Accept, Empower and a Full Moon

Dear soft hearted loves, How can we accept an issue or suffering in our lives? Isn’t this just giving up? Acceptance of an area of suffering can then empower us to not pass that wound down to future generations or our own internal families. If you’re like “what’s she talking about with this internal familyContinue reading “Accept, Empower and a Full Moon”