So I’ve been thinking about something codependency expert, Melody Beattie, discussed. She has some great literature like Codependent No More and explains how if you want to have your hair a certain way and can make that happen then please do. Sometimes I’m working on the inside so much I forget that it’s okay to want to dye my whites red. It’s okay to move in a way that stretches those achy hamstrings after sitting for a long period of time. Who am I to say it’s okay? I guess I just want us to remember what we would do for ourselves without the ties of monetizing self-care.
We so often see someone at a spa as doing something kind for themselves, and that’s fine. Do your spa day if that’s what you want. But for many people, that’s not accessible, or comfortable. For some the image of “self-care” may even illicit gender dysphoria. For example, for some of the gender expansive patients I serve, a spa day might bring up gender related traumas and gender dysphoria.
For me, stretching and breathing are probably some of the best ways I can access my parasympathetic nervous systems’ healing. For someone with a lung disease that would just illicit stress and breathlessness! Another one I love is hugging a safe person. That might be terrifying or uncomfortable if you don’t want touch or hugs. One size obviously does not fit all when it comes to doing those little things for you. I’m curious when are times when you’ve been able to do something that helped you anchor into this moment? What are ways that help you be in this moment rather than float away or escape? What are ways you might do or talk to yourself that help you be you? Who are people are what are places that make you feel most comfortable?
Whether it’s a nap or a minute of doing nothing, whether it’s a hug or saying “I don’t want a hug”, whether it’s mindfully eating or listening to a song, I’m wishing you a moment of ease and anchoring in your day.