Bullying: Part Five

Dear Soft Hearted Loves,

This is our last part of this series. We talked about some of the bullying I experienced personally, racist related bullying, gender related bullying, bullying due to socioeconomic status, and now we’ll wrap up about making amends for the bullying we’ve done. While I mentioned I experienced years of confusing, hurtful bullying, I want to be transparent that I’ve also bullied people a few times.

It may hurt one’s heart to reflect on what they did to isolate or hurt another. However, I believe in order to improve and not pass down these bundles of hurt we must address where we’ve hurt others from our bullying too. We can look at what was passed to us and make amends by changing how we do things moving forward. Where we can apologize to the person if it does not burden them. We also don’t need to rub it in. For example, if we bullied a younger sibling for being short we don’t have to call them up making short slights and say how we’re sorry. We can reach out and ask if they have a time or way they may like to talk for a moment. For example, I recently received a kind email from someone in high school kindly apologizing for anything they did and wishing me well. It was heart warming, but they didn’t detail slights or injuries, they just displayed how they’ve changed.

We can also improve our behavior and be examples of the way we want to live moving forward. For me this means limiting gossip, sending light and prayers to people when I can, and trying to step up when I perceive abuses to be occurring currently. What does changed behavior look like for you? I believe this is the most juicy part of not passing down bullying. These traumas can stop by our self reflection and adjustments.

With kindness,

Dr. Joharchi